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A message from a prospective mate every day may sound like a lot.

But given the extremely low probability that any given message will lead to a serious relationship, it’s not.

But almost immediately, I began to notice peculiarities about my experience.

It made me feel that I was more likely to find someone with whom I actually connected—not just another pretty face.

I uploaded pictures and filled out my profile with basic demographic information—height, body type, religion, and education.

Over the following months, I would play with this slightly: I variously described myself as a dreamer, book lover, learner, educator, and writer, someone who views the world with a glass half-full of optimism and a dash of sarcasm.

I noted that my friends describe me as “sincere and hilarious,” “fun to do things with,” and “a great trivia partner.” I peppered my profile with jokes and references to climbing, yoga, learning, eating all of the things, and drinking all of the drinks.

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